Well, here's another chapter. I'm sorry for the wait, and as you can probably appreciate, when you've left a fic alone for a while, it's veeeery hard to get back into it.



Refresher: Wufei was in hospital because of an accident caused by Sally. She is staying with the four other pilots in a rented villa on the island. In the last chapter she told Wufei she was going to leave for China when he is well again. Wufei thinks it's his fault she has to leave, but Heero knows something of the real reason...but not all of it...

The First To Fall



*~Chapter 5~*



Wufei, once again, tried to close his eyes and rest his head against the white pillow, in order to remove all trace of Sally from his tired mind. It wasn’t possible. Even the pungent smell of the hospital couldn’t deter his senses. She couldn’t just leave without some proper way to justify it. It was unusual for her to be so vague, she was always so straight to the point, though never cuttingly blunt the way he himself could sometimes be. Yesterday, when she had come to the hospital, Wufei hadn’t mustered the strength to probe more into Sally’s reasons for leaving, his head was still fuzzy from the temporary coma.

He could still feel the tingle of her mouth on his, and the faint trace of her scent still lingered if he imagined hard enough. Wufei had wondered whether his actions prior to this had frightened her away from him, yet she’d seemed so pained to let him go, and it was more typical of Sally to be honest if she had an issue with his conduct. And she’d told him she loved him. Wufei groaned, unable to understand the enigma that was Sally Po’s behaviour at the moment.

*********

Once again, Sally lay alone upon the bed in the smallest room in the villa. She was on her back, staring at the paint which was peeling slightly where the walls met the ceiling. Nausea swept over her again and again. Her stomach clenched every so often and her throat felt dry, then sour as she swallowed. The stress she was subjected to was playing havoc with her body. Even contemplating leaving the man she adored was terrible, but to be forced to put it into practise was a step further. A step she had to take, though. And adding to the hopelessness of the situation, she had accidentally put this man in hospital.

Her head began to spin, as her anxiety levels began to rise again. Only last night had Quatre caught her throwing up in the bathroom. Some of it had splattered on the linoleum floor, and he had put aside his own weariness to help her clean up. Dear little Quatre. Her vomiting had no regular pattern, and sometimes she even encouraged it, but she noticed it happened the most when she was reflecting on her sins. Or more specifically the significant one.

“You want some water?” said the auburn haired youth, who nudged his way softly into the room. He was almost as quiet as a ghost entering, Sally realised.

“I’m fine, Trowa,” she whispered back, and resumed her newest pastime of counting how many mosquitoes fluttered around near the window.

“It’s just last night, Quatre said-”

“I’m fine.”

Trowa wasn’t fazed. This manner of speech was much suited to himself anyway. He didn’t mind receiving it, even if it was from a woman usually so approachable.

“Duo and Quatre have gone up to see Wufei and talk to him,” Trowa explained. “So if you want anything, ask me.”

Sally nodded.

“Or Heero,” he added.

She squeezed her eyes shut and held her breath for a few moments. It was plain to see she was by no means all right.

“Sally, something’s wrong,” the former Heavyarms pilot stated. “I can see it. And Heero can. It’s affecting him.”

“Trowa, I’m sorry, I must....” Sally, suddenly dashed out of the bedroom and crashed straight into Heero’s arms, the collision winding him. He held on to her, in an effort to steady her.

“Get off me!” Sally snapped, trying to wrench herself away. “Don’t you dare put your arms around me!”

“I caught you, that’s all,” Heero replied brusquely, though somewhere in the depth of his eyes, Trowa noted the fear as he came to the scene.

“Where are you going? The bathroom?” Trowa inquired of Sally.

“Too late...” she choked, then swayed as if she might faint. Beads of perspiration were evident on her pale forehead and she gipped as if she might vomit at any moment. The Japanese man stepped backwards and let out a small gasp and Sally pulled herself away from his stabilising grip, and marched towards the bathroom.

“Sally Po,” Heero spoke up. “Sally-”

But his attempts were fruitless, as she’d already closed the door, and when she emerged, she paced straight back into the bedroom without a glance at the two youths who were seated in the lounge area.

It was then that Trowa turned to Heero, a firm, questioning expression cast over his usually reserved features. Heero sucked in a harsh breath and let it out with the slight hint of a growl.

“What’s going on, Heero?” Trowa asked. He wasn’t exactly demanding to know, that wasn’t Trowa’s way. He never threatened his friends, especially this one. It was more than obvious that something was deeply troubling Heero, and he wasn’t about to reveal what it was.

The two sat in silence for a little while, and Trowa noted how strained was this brand of silence compared to to the usual times he and Heero shared a mutual immersion in their own thoughts. It was a way of making a balance between what had happened in the past, and what was occupying their lives now. They were never content to bury their memories behind a smile, which Duo might have well have painted on.

Eventually, the emerald-eyed Preventer uttered some words; “Heero, if you need to speak to me, you must do so.”

“I don’t.”

“It’s just-”

“I don’t need your concern, Trowa.”

“And Sally? What about her? I may be quiet a great deal of the time, yet that has it’s advantages. I notice things, Heero. Small details, and they unravel themselves in my mind as I try to analyse them...”

“Then don’t try.”

“You are missing my point, Heero,” Trowa continued evenly, as his comrade glared at the floor, his knuckles white as he clasped his hands together. “Since Wufei’s accident, Sally has been behaving...well....you see, don’t you? You see how she sobs, and vomits and demands solitude. It is incredibly uncharacteristic. Frighteningly so. And I know you are at least vaguely aware of what her problem is. You may be the only one to help her through this.”

Heero snorted at the comment. Help her through it? How pathetically ironic.

“I cannot help her, you shouldn’t even dare to think you can interpret what I can and can’t do.”

“Speak to her,” Trowa urged.

“No!” Heero finally retorted, rising abruptly from his perch on the couch. “Leave her be, Trowa. And tell Quatre to do the same. Sally doesn’t want fussing over. She’s a strong woman.”

“There’s something going on between her and Wufei, isn’t there,” Trowa declared softly. “And it’s causing her so much anxiety.”

“You are wrong,” Heero answered. “There’s nothing.”

“That isn’t true. Ever since he’s been in hospital, she’s been this way. And maybe she was like that before, too. I cannot say. But I know there’s some buried issue there.”

“Wufei never spoke of it to me,” Heero answered bluntly. “Never.”

“He wouldn’t admit it, would he?” Trowa estimated. “Rather like you and your situation with Relena Peacecraft.”

Heero snorted and some unidentifiable expression passed over his face as Trowa looked on. It seemed to be a mixture of anger, despair and misery. “Relena Peacecraft does not feature in my life. And she cannot.”

********

“Wufei was pretty miserable,” Duo announced as he strode through the door hours later, Quatre in tow. “He didn’t hardly speak to us and kept complaining he was tired.”

“Poor guy,” Quatre said, his voice thick with emotion. “He told us Sally was leaving. We finally squeezed it out of him.”

Trowa turned briefly to Heero, whose eyes were glued to the television screen, showing random snapshots of an ESUN conference, involving Relena. The peace policies were being praised, as it was becoming evident that the conflict between Earth and the colonies was a shadow of the past, as things were remaining promisingly stable over the past two and a half years.

“Heero, you didn’t mention anything.”

Heero wasn’t listening to Trowa. He was aching for another glimpse of Relena. That young woman symbolised everything he thought to be pure and right, compared to the person he, Heero Yuy, had been- and what he had become.

“Heero! Trowa’s trying to talk to you!” Duo exclaimed arms flailing. “Why didn’t you tell him Sally was leaving? Wufei said he’d told you when you last visited.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary,” the Japanese youth replied curtly. “It’s her choice.”

“Do you guys think it would do any good if I spoke to her and tried to convince her to share her problems?” Quatre said imploringly. “Wufei seems to think he’s to blame, though he didn’t go into any details in the hospital.”

“It’s not his fault,” Heero cut in. “He shouldn’t be allowed to think that.”

“Then whose fault is it?” Duo asked.

“Shhh!” Quatre hissed. “Sally, by my reckoning, is still in that lonely bedroom and how do we know she’s asleep? She could hear us!”

“Is it Sally’s fault?” Duo continued, lowing his pitch and volume. “What did she do?”

“Nothing,” Heero growled. “It’s nothing to do with you. Or any of us.”

“It’s something to do with you, Heero,” Trowa said calmly. “Or at least you know what’s wrong with her.”

“Whatever gave you that idea?” the prussian-eyed pilot snapped. “We share a connection. A respect. How do I know what’s in her deepest thoughts?”

“Hey, you don’t have to convince us, man!” Duo said, shaking his head. “You’re right. Sally’s just taking this whole jeep accident thing bad, and she thinks she must leave because of it. It’s so simple.”

Simple? Heero thought. Duo was right about that. Simple maybe, but then again, everything with terrible results can begin with something so simple.

Nothing more was spoken of the issue, and after dinner, three of the four young men in the villa watched the television with little else left to do. Heero found his fingers toying with the handle of Sally’s bedroom door, and after much deliberation, he opened it and entered.

She wasn’t laying down this time, she was sitting cross-legged on the bed, chewing halfheartedly at some bread from dinner. At least she was eating, was the first thing that came to Heero’s mind.

“What do you want?” she asked sullenly, putting down her food, as he closed the door behind him with a click. “I chose to stay in here because I want privacy. I’m feeling unwell.”

That was obvious. She looked extremely drawn, the sparkle gone from those gentle, smiling blue eyes. Now they were chips of ice set in a grey face - tired and wary.

“Sally, must you leave?” Heero attempted again. “It isn’t entirely necessary.”

“I’ve told you it is.”

“It isn’t. I haven’t breathed a word of this to anyone, and I doubt you have. Have you spoken to anyone.... Noin maybe?”

“No. Noin is nothing to do with it. But I’m feeling the strains of keeping this from Wufei.”

“You love him, don’t you?”

Sally rolled her stinging eyes. “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you. But I am resolute in what I must do: I have decided to tell Wufei the truth.”

Heero balked at this. “The truth? You think that is appropriate?”

“As a matter of fact I do,” Sally answered firmly. “Then he can fully understand why I must leave. I could not live my life in China knowing he is forever going to question why I left him. He thinks it’s his fault.”

“And in truth, it isn’t,” Heero replied. “I know that.”

“Yes, but you don’t know the full truth, either, Heero. You only know the part you played. It’s me who’s having to deal with the legacy, while you desperately try to keep on the good side of Zechs in order to claim his sister.”

Heero glowered at the wall behind Sally, and his heart burned with shame. If Zechs were to catch wind of the reasons behind this situation, Relena’s views on him would be forever tainted.

“What legacy do you mean? Guilt? It fades. My war guilt is fading.”

“War guilt? I’m glad for you, “ Sally replied, and Heero wondered whether she was being sarcastic. “But this isn’t a case of simply guilt. Or war deaths. In fact, this isn’t even death. This issue is life....”

“What life?” Heero demanded. “You make no sense to me, Sally.”

“Forget it. Forget everything, Heero. I shan’t tell Wufei, he will be devastated. I will leave and walk away from this situation. And I’ll bring up the consequences alone in China.”

“You’re not a coward, Sally,” Heero said as he paced towards the door frame. “Don’t do this.”

“I didn’t think you were a coward, either, Heero,” she answered, in a softer tone. “But it’s your feelings for Relena which do this to you, which cause you to conceal things. Just as my feelings for Wufei do the same to me. As I have said, I have no other choice but to leave. And if I stay, as the months roll on, let’s just say you’ll have a lot to answer for.”

The sound of a cell phone beeping cut through the tense atmosphere. It was Heero’s. Automatically, the stoic youth reached into the pocket in his pants and pulled out the gadget, moving it to his ear.

“Preventer Heero Yuy, who is speaking?”

He expected it was either Lady Une, Zechs Marquise or Chief Une’s new deputy, Harrison.

“This is Doctor Julius....We met when you first visited Mr Chang.”

“Yes.”

“You left me this contact number.”

“I know.”

“I have some recent information on your comrade, Preventer Wufei Chang....I understand this may come as a shock to you.”

Sally couldn’t hear very clearly the information being transferred to Heero, and neither did she think attempting to read his expression would allow her to deduce anything. Something flickered in the youth’s eyes, though, as he snapped the phone cover shut and embedded it in his pocket once again. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip, was silent, and did not meet her probing gaze.

“Heero...what is it?”

He swallowed, and for a fleeting second, he looked rather like a small child, a little boy in need of comfort. The boy Sally remembered had always remained so stoic, yet right now, it was clear that something had been ripped from his soul. Something so dreadful he could not even uphold his statue-like appearance.

“Heero,” she repeated hesitantly. “Who was it? The hospital? What did they say?”

He didn’t reply. He just stared straight forward, as if the world was spinning, or crumbling all around him. Sally climbed off the bed and stepped towards him, casting away her anger in the face of this new circumstance, whatever it may be. She took his hands in hers, recalling their firmness, and she found they were cold. As cold are her own were.

“Heero,” she pressed one more time. “Speak to me.”

She tugged at him gently, and Heero finally uttered something in a low, bitter whisper;

“He’s dead. Wufei’s dead.”

Dead? Sally’s throat went dry and she blinked, unbelieving, as a knot tightened in her stomach. She wanted to vomit again, but somehow she couldn’t exert herself to even open her mouth. Wufei, her favourite pilot, the boy she had believed in, the man she had grown to love with all her heart, the person who had become so precious to her compared to any other - gone.

She realised she was still clinging onto Heero’s hands, and he was staring blankly, focusing on nothing. She wanted something to hold onto, to stop her from collapsing, and she cared no more that it was him. He could be a wall to cry against, she thought, as she let go of his hands and pressed her cheek against his chest. Feelings didn’t come into it. They never had as far as those two were concerned.

“Why? Why, Heero? Are you sure?” she whispered, gripping him without even remembering the time she had done this before. Only Wufei mattered to her now. He was all that had ever really mattered.

“I’m sure. It was a blood clot.”

Heero’s head dropped, and his chin fell against the woman’s hair. In an almost robotic gesture, he lifted his arms which felt so heavy at his sides, and placed them around her, knowing in a moment or so, he had the grim duty of telling the other three of this news. They would be devastated. Sally was heartbroken; he could feel the material of his shirt rapidly dampening with her discreet tears. And he himself, didn’t know what he felt. Sadness.....or relief.

TBC

( Okay, well I'm gonna elaborate on the other pilots in the next chapters, as they need equal inclusion in the story. There's more of Duo and Quatre as it progresses. At least that's how it stands on my computer ^_^ And I know it's confusing. It's the way this fic is, I'm afraid! And don't be fooled, this is a veeeeery long fic. You know I can't kill Wu-chan!)